Chronic Illness Shame, Guilt & Anxiety… Let's use Lyme as an example! ; )
Ever feel like there is something wrong with you? Does your chronic illness tend to overwhelm you with a strong feeling of worthlessness? This is common when Lyme isn’t diagnosed & treated early on & can plague a person as much as any specific Lyme disease symptom. This is an all too common occurrence called chronic Lyme- shame. What it does: It creates low self esteem, withdrawal from others and fear of self expression. Such thoughts are anxiety-provoking and depressing; they can cause sleepless nights and restless days.
The guilt usually comes on when your behavior and your intentions don’t match up and you are aware of it. You may also feel guilty after the criticism or commentary of another. Feeling guilty that you didn’t do more creates the illusion that you could have prevented the disease or possibly just the individual situation. It gives you a false sense of control that you can do something to make your situation better. And behind it lies feelings of helplessness – which arise from situations that are out of your control.
"Anxiety is fear, and fear stems from the misunderstood or the unknown.
No person who contracted Lyme Disease understood what exactly they were dealing with. Symptoms that you've never experienced from even your worst flu, have made themselves known. Even before testing positive for Lyme or at least concluding on good judgement, the uncertainty of what could happen to you and what you're suppose to do, makes your mind race. It's very scary when the unknown and unimaginable threaten your life. Naturally we turn to people we would hope and assume know what we're going through to help us but even their words leave many doubts and unanswered questions. Why did I have to get Lyme Disease? How do I treat it? Why is it that my tests come back negative but I still show the symptoms? (http://www.tiredoflyme.com/anxiety.html#.Uo70n8SsiSo)
It's hard enough for a person with Lyme Disease to track down and attain all the answers for themselves regarding their own state of health, and then to be questioned about their battle with Lyme Disease from another person? Forget about it! Lyme Disease, in a nutshell, temporarily hinders and collapses the life a person knew. They lose their ability to work, go to school, and even perform their once indulging hobbies.
Of course it's not easy to disengage yourself from the people you've surrounded yourself with for nearly your whole life. Being social is part of what makes us human, and to have that ability nearly entirely taken away, it hurts. It really does. It is important to remember that this process of becoming estranged from family and friends is normal. Many people battling Lyme Disease encounter this sociological symptom of Lyme as it's nearly inevitable. But, as social as we human beings are, and as important as socializing is for our minds, you can get through the periods of isolation. You'll survive. If that's necessary and better for your health and happiness you need to ensure this! And when it's not your choice it's okay to be hurt but don't hurt yourself more or stop trying to connect at all - and if you have it's time to start reversing that process. TRUST ME!!!
Of course it's not easy to disengage yourself from the people you've surrounded yourself with for nearly your whole life. Being social is part of what makes us human, and to have that ability nearly entirely taken away, it hurts. It really does. It is important to remember that this process of becoming estranged from family and friends is normal. Many people battling Lyme Disease encounter this sociological symptom of Lyme as it's nearly inevitable. But, as social as we human beings are, and as important as socializing is for our minds, you can get through the periods of isolation. You'll survive. If that's necessary and better for your health and happiness you need to ensure this! And when it's not your choice it's okay to be hurt but don't hurt yourself more or stop trying to connect at all - and if you have it's time to start reversing that process. TRUST ME!!!
It all comes down to controlling your thoughts and finding answers to create an understanding. In time, this will lead to a faster and better recovery from a situation that doesn't have to exist forever.
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What you can do about negative feelings:
Realize that there is a reason for your disease, and for all the difficulties it has brought you. Know that this was completely outside of your control!
Express your feelings about having Lyme.
Forgive yourself for thinking poorly about yourself & forgive others who acted out of ignorance.
Begin to assert your newer stronger self – you are a warrior day in, day out. Don’t hide this amazing aspect of yourself – you may have chronic illness, injury , trauma, permanent damage & long term or lifelong affects to cope with as the result of this disease. But don’t forget the other side of this coin is your will, courage, determination and strength of character you show in your private & personal struggles and in your daily battle to feel, look and live “better” …
PUT DOWN THE PILLS! IF YOU ARE TAKING A TON OF MEDS LIKE I WAS A VARIOUS POINTS OVER THE PAST 12 YEARS YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THEM, EXAMINE HOW LONG Y OU HAVE BEEN TAKING THEM AND WHY. IF IT'S BEEN A YEAR OR LONGER IT'S TIME TO SEE YOUR DOCTOR AND GO THROUGH ALL OF THEM - DO YOU "NEED" THEM. ARE THEY LIFE SAVING OR LIFE GIVING MEDICATIONS? ARE THE SIDE EFFECTS SOMETHING YOU HAVE EXAMINED & RESEARCHED WELL - DOES YOUR M.D. STILL THINK YOU NEED THIS DRUG. AND IF SO WHY...
Begin to assert your newer stronger self – you are a warrior day in, day out. Don’t hide this amazing aspect of yourself – you may have chronic illness, injury , trauma, permanent damage & long term or lifelong affects to cope with as the result of this disease. But don’t forget the other side of this coin is your will, courage, determination and strength of character you show in your private & personal struggles and in your daily battle to feel, look and live “better” …
FIND OUT IF THERE IS A NATURAL WAY, WITH FOOD, MEDICINE, THERAPY, YOGA, MEDITATION, OR HERBS THAT MAY BE AS EFFECTIVE OR EVEN MORESO... IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEN IT'S TIME TO START DOING SOME DIGGING. YOUR BODY DOESN'T WANT ALL THAT FOREIGN CHEMICAL GUNK IN IT EVERYDAY BUT IF YOU NEED IT PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY THAT'S OK. BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP TAKING AN RX FOR 4 OR 5 YEARS SIMPLY BECAUSE NOBODY HAS DONE A PROPER MED REVIEW, & IT'S YOUR BODY SO THAT INCLUDES YOU DEAR READER.
Remember, even though our thoughts are influenced entirely on our surrounding and environment, you have the final say in how they affect you! TRUTH! 
EAT BETTER. EAT REAL FOOD - TONS OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES AND AVOID GMO'S, PROCESSED HIGH SUGAR, OR WHITE FLOUR FOODS NOT TO MENTION INFLAMMATORY FOODS LIKE RED MEAT, NITRATES, AND PACKAGED GARBAGE! EAT WELL - HAVE STANDARDS OF CARE WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT YOU FEED YOURSELF. FOOD IS POWERFUL AND HEALING WHEN IT IS GIVEN THE REVERENCE AND RESPECT IT DESERVES. ASK FOR HELP IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO START CHANGING YOUR DIET. I BET I COULD HELP YOU ACTUALLY IF YOU ARE TRULY INTERESTED. Without perspective & self forgiveness, you have nothing...
It won't be easy to endure but it can be done. Socializing may not even be on the list of objectives to complete in the beginning stages of Lyme Disease treatment, but as healing occurs, you'll find not only the desire to want to be social becoming more prevalent, but as well as the ability to do so. All with Lyme Disease share the common yearning for the normal they once had before Lyme Disease injected its change into their lives. It may even be hard to remember what you had felt during the normal that Lyme Disease removed. While this isn't to suggest that the normal Lyme Disease has bestowed us with is completely futile, and negative, because it's not. There exists great benefits through every normal we experience in life. You just have to know, not where, but how to look. "This is merely just a reminder to you: remember the normal you were once a part of, and the normal you're fighting to obtain in the future." It's also worth understanding that your life now, & new normals are perfectly "normal" and never something to take for granted, nor to give yourself grief over - believe me others will do that plenty enough to you. Don't borrow trouble, anxiety, guilt or shame like I did for a decade...
I hid away every time certain Lyme symptoms appeared and am just in these last 11 months really trying to regularly NOT do so. But every time I step out when having one I have anxiety and last week a panic attack when my new neighbors 1st met the Lyme side of me though they were all fantastic! It was me - I have been conditioned to do so with the thought that I had something to be ashamed of embarrassed about and needed to hide all this time - from friends, neighbors and even family... well a year ago I could hardly breath if I got in the car and was out with some of this stuff - twitching, insomnia, balance trouble, anxiety, OCD & ADD when the neurological Lyme acts up, and true embarrassment. I still feel that inside but analytically am fighting it and working on it myself daily and with a professional weekly. It's not easy. But even re-connecting to the virtual world and social media started as a long slow process a year ago and look at me now. Put yourself first! Your health and happiness matter!!!! "Friends, a lover, and family will likely be there when you've recovered. And even if they aren't, you will possess the ability to make new friends and even repair relationships. It's a reward that will return for the strenuous efforts you put forth to overcoming Lyme Disease." (http://www.tiredoflyme.com/why-do-those-with-lyme-disease-become-estranged.html#.Uo74L8SsiSo)
This year has been so positive though I am desperate still for a Lyme specialist and neurological treatments when/if I get insurance in the next few months but for now I have truly been using the only resources I had available but using them to my benefit again as much as possible. I am working hard on my issues - the ones I can and trying to learn to love and forgive the ones I cannot control - after 12 years I am finally here. So don't fret if it sounds "nice" but you truly don't know how to get there. I will help you. Knowing that possibility exists is the only thing that keeps me going some days. It's what gets me to post something - anything when life and Lyme are trying and tiring and taxing. I love my readers & I love that we can all support and help each other this way worldwide. Believe me "it ain't nuthin!". Change your thinking step by step, day by day -
And reach out! Click join this site - follow along, comment, ask for advice - we are all in this together. In fact currently in the U.S. especially I'd say if it wasn't for the incredible strength and determination of the hundreds of thousands (though I bet it's more like millions honestly...) of us battling this disease and the co-infections, and bureaucracy and bill collectors and even friends and family at times and battling for a better and brighter tomorrow TOGETHER, we'd be a much sadder and weaker group of people. But together we are strong - so strong and we will get through this. I KNOW IT!!!
AS ALWAYS HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY MORNING, AFTERNOON, EVENING OR NIGHT MY FRIENDS - WHEREVER YOU MAY BE OUT THERE. Y'ALL COME BACK NOW YOU HERE? MUCH PEACE, AUDREY
For those battling Chronic Lyme please read:
"FLOATING:The ever present feeling of immunity or disconnect from all of life's meaning, purpose, reason, values and experiences, while maintaining normal life functions and activities..." : http://www.tiredoflyme.com/floating.html#.Uo7yhcSsiSo
FOR THOSE WONDERING ABOUT A PAIN DIAGNOSES please read "Do I have Lupus or Fibromyalgia?": http://pain-and-depression.com/Library/do-i-have-lupus-or-fibromyalgia/
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