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Not All Small Voices Are Here to Help!
The little voice rushes in with an out-of-breath whisper that feigns, “emergency, EMERGENCY!...Pssst, wake up!” Groggy, and unsuspecting, you listen, thinking, “hey, this could be that “still, small voice” that people talk about—people that seem to know something, right?” Well, if it were still, it wouldn’t be hissing some lame, fake “wake up” warning because you finally decided to do something that needed to get done! Maybe it’s the first week of your exercise program? Maybe it’s the commencement of that creative project you finally made room for in your days? Maybe it’s that business that you’ve barely put your toe into, but you’ve begun? Maybe it’s some habit that needed an overhaul and you started a couple of weeks ago? Maybe it’s an online daily and dream that you’ve been chirping about and finally commenced?
That out-of-breath hiss is the likes of ego. You’ve met that little monster before. He really does have my best self-interest, right? He’s a tiring little bugger and seems to come in with warnings when you’re slightly hesitant about next steps. The scenarios that he spins are frightening and sometimes (uhhh, most of the time) kick-you-in-the-gut. He will tell you every reason why you shouldn’t be doing something. He will make it sound as if he is the authority in all matters and that he knows you best. He pretends to be your best friend with “I’ve got your back; I just don’t want you to embarrass yourself, hurt yourself, act better than you really are (because you really shouldn’t act bigger than your britches—nobody likes that!).” You fill in the blanks.
I’m here to remind both of us—you and me, not to listen to that little bugger, as intense as he can be. (I went to bed last night thinking at his urging: “What in the world am I trying to do with THD? No one cares or needs what you have to offer. There are more than enough positive thinkers and teachers out there who claim to know something or want to sell you something (and yes, there are plenty of snake-oil types in every field of endeavor—many have already written THE books and are the supposed “experts”…)
But I said a prayer as I put my head on the pillow and as I awoke this morning. “God, clear away all that is untrue. Remind me “who” I am. Give me the courage, even if it’s for just one more day.” I awoke remembering that hissing sound in my ear yesterday, feeling that ache that fills my chest between old and new habits, sensing the fear. I took a shower and remembered. I remembered those hisses as those of ego…and laughed. Damn, he’s an ornery and stubborn cuss. He’s back for more of me. Well, he just can’t. I have fired him before and I’m firing him again. He’s not my keeper and he sure as hell knows nothing about my dreams. Be gone, oh silly ego! I’m off to write a blog and give folks a little hooray! in their day. I’m off to put some hooray in MY day! And I laughed again…
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