Hi friends - I am writing to you at the dawn of my 33rd birthday. I don't like being up this early but I resigned long ago to parents insistence to awaken me singing Happy birthday at the time I was born today 6:50am. This year I had a pile of cards waiting much to my surprise and looking back at on the year I have to give myself a pat on the back. Not only have I survived Bartonella - a common Lyme co-infection but Lyme encephalitis which is a nasty and often deadly disease. But I'm still standing. I refuse to be taken down by any such bacteria or virus and I believe my mental strength has as much to do with my survival as my diet and nutrition do. I'm coining a new term for this next year of my life: Chronic Willness - the ceaseless willingness to live even if it requires a sometimes fight against my demons both physical and mental, As they say where there's a will there's a way. My will is to live not in spite of this disease like I used to but with it for as long as it may take - until my body gives out or a cure becomes available. This is not something you can manifest overnight but if you really want a life that is not centered around everything you can no longer do; around your struggles and your pain; around what you've lost then must focus daily on what you have gained. Nobody can do this for you. It's time to take stock. Pretend you are auditing your own life - it's a chore but it's important and you'll fell better when it's said and done.
Being a blogger who believes whole heartedly in practicing what she preaches I am doing this in my own life and so today I present with 33 things I am thankful for on my 33rd birthday. I hope it inspires many of you to do the same. It would be so easy instead to moan and groan and look at today as the 13th year of illness instead it is my 33rd year of proving what the power of my WILL to live can accomplish. I wish all a wonderful day, week, month and year. Start your inventory today because any moment can Be one of rebirth if you choose to fight for love, and life, for sunrises, and beauty, for travel, for new experiences, for treatment, for a cure, for life!
#1 I am thankful for my mother who carried me and nourished me and brought me into the world. I am thankful for the faith she instilled in me and for teaching that a feminist above all is humanist and I am proud to be both
#2 I am thankful for my father who has always been my daddy - who has sat by my side in hospitals and ambulances and doctor's offices and pharmacies and has yet to give up on me
#3 I am thankful for my baby brother - a true gift from God and my best friend. The child who grew watching me battle debilitating illness is stronger and tougher then I was age 19 and I know above all he loves me and there were times I wanted to give up but for his sake I did not. I hope I have him proud and taught him everything I could to make his time in college slightly easier and a lot less lonely then mine was
#4 I am thankful for our pet Bailey who died last summer but was my friend to the end. We had special bond as she went liver failure - I can only hope I comforted her in the end as much as she did me on all my sleepless nights
#5 I am thankful for each and every one of my amazing friends from Northfield Mount Hermon school - you continue to inspire me and crack me up at times too. I will never forget any of you. You helped me become the woman I am today
#6 I am thankful for all my teachers from grade school, to NMH, to KU to Columbia - always pushing be to dig deeper, write better, and above all learn that passion can overcome so many things - fear of taking tests, fear of failure, fear of being an outcast - and I give a shout out to a few special ones Vicky and Mr J, Louise Schwingel, Ralph Bledsoe, Sheila Heffernon and Sabina McMann - I would not have become the dedicated and diligent worker I continue to be without your help
#7 I am grateful for my Lyme warrior friends - too many to list but many of you have kept me going these past 18 months and I owe you a debt of gratitude
#8 I am grateful to Victoria Hickey who helped me re enter the world when my anxiety about my illness was so bad I was afraid to leave the house for almost 2 years.
#9 I am to every Doctor that ever believed me and sought to properly diagnose me
#10 I am grateful to every that did not believe me and helped me prepare myself for long and arduous battle against my illness and the CDC who still does not recognize Lyme as a real Chronic illness - you all piss me off but you've made me stronger. I would not be a warrior without you
#11 I am grateful to Jucie Plus+ - to my team, to my upline Heather Binns and to every member of our extended family who believes that individuals can make a difference and that the health of the people ALWAYS comes before profit and as a shameless educator I will include my website here as well (akorteshares.juiceplus.com)
#12 I am grateful to my extended family who may have no idea what I've struggled with and yet receive me with open arms and whose love I have never doubted
#13 I grateful to my new online community. You give me something to live for on the bad days when my demons take over and I just want it to end. I remember how many of you are struggling and pull myself, sometimes literally over to the computer to re-connect and ask prayers, support and help. Knowing we are not alone can all the difference
#14 I am grateful for my nutrition education which is ongoing and no doubt has saved my life
#15 I am grateful for my brain - there were times I literally could not remember how to get home and having regained this ability has given me a new lease on life
#16 I am grateful for my badassery. Enough said
#17 I am grateful to know that what I do has helped others - in fact it is the best feeling in the world
#18 I am grateful to feel like my old self again - intelligent, dedicated and always irreverent
#19 I am grateful to all the strong men & women in my life - people who have shown me that love is the answer but it is not always peaceful
#20 I am grateful for music - I have running jukebox in my head. From Aretha, to James brown, to the Indigo Girls to AC DC, to Massive Attack to the Roots, to Beck to Arcade Fire, to Garbage to the Yeah Yeah Yeah's - the soundtrack of my life gives my courage AND strength
#21 I am grateful for those who have not turned their back on me - the very few of you most especially Chelsea Rhea, Tucker Dalton, Lauren Thompson and Trinity White. You will never know how much you mean to me
#22 I am grateful to every member of my Between Health and Wealth Avenues community - every one is a blessing - don't you forget it!
#23 I am grateful I can walk
#24 I am grateful I can write
#25 I am grateful for fall - my favorite season
#26 I am grateful for avoiding ambulances if not hospitals for 16 months and counting!
#27 I am grateful for friends in low places - for people who show up in your hour of need, without holding a grudge or keeping track of your tab
#28 I am grateful for grate women in my life, friends, teachers, mentors, and the crew of classmates of my mother's at EDS who helped shape me into the force of nature I am now
#29 I am grateful for passion - my own and others
#30 I am grateful to know that many of us are trying to change the world - I am not in this alone
#31 I am grateful for the lessons of this past year
#32 I am grateful for the surprises and successes coming my way in this next year
#33 I am grateful for my life
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